Four Words that changed my Life Forever…

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“Your Dad has Cancer.” 

Those were the first words my mom said to me after they got back from getting the results of my Dad’s prostate biopsy. I had called her, returning her call that I never heard come through, I said “Hi” when she answered and those were the words she uttered to me over the phone with the pain filing every ounce of her.

In my mind I was thinking, “OK Lu, this is NOT a death sentence. It is his prostate, not his brain or his pancreas, WE will get through this!” What I said to her was this:

“OK, so now we go onto plan B, you are going to call the University Hospital on Monday and get him in for a second opinion, right? Then we will go from there. WE will fight this and WE WILL WIN. Just let him know WE are here for him and WE love him. WE got his back! Love you, call me if you need me. Tell him I love him.”

Right after that phone call ended I took myself into the bathroom and got into the shower and cried. I cried hard and ugly for a long time, I cried until my hot water ran almost cold. The pep talk I gave myself and the talk I gave my mom had worn off and I was numb. This is my DAD! We had only had each other since I was 6 years old, it has not been nearly long enough! Then, I got out of the shower, got dressed, went to my bedroom and prayed to God. I don’t bargain with God, I don’t make promises with God. I just asked him to please don’t let my Dad suffer and to please let this surgery and treatment work. I ask him this every night.

My Dad is in denial, sort of. He knows and understands that he has Cancer, but he doesn’t want to know any specifics of it. He knows that he has to have surgery in July, but again he wants to know no specifics of it. He literally got up, told the Doctor to tell it all to my mom and he walked out of the room. Yeah, he has issues with aging and death. (smh)

So, today when my mom brought me all his test and lab reports and started asking me questions about the numbers and such he got pissed because he didn’t want to hear ANYTHING. We had to go into their bedroom and shut the door so I could explain all the numbers and all the notes the Doctors had given her; I get that he is scared, but being a baby about it is not going to make things easier or make things go away. I so wanted to march out to him and shake him and tell him this, but well, it is Father’s Day and I didn’t want to mar the day. (sigh) His day with me is coming though, trust and believe that!

As I sat there going over the Doctor’s notes my heart started to sink and I almost started to regret my Degree and my knowledge of the medical world. The test results and the notes were telling me things were more serious than I was first lead to believe. My dad’s prostate is more than 80% covered by the Cancer and parts of it have even been eaten away by the Cancer. The type of Cancer he has is a very aggressive Cancer and only 2.5% of prostate cancer patients get it, yeah, only my Dad. (smh) I didn’t want to alarm my mom, but it was soon clear that she was under no delusions about what was going on; which was actually a relief to me, I mean one person in denial is all i can handle right now.

I decided today that I am going to start something, I am going to start buying my dad all things Iron Man. Yup, IRON FUCKING MAN! I also decided today that my Dad IS going to beat the shit out of this Cancer. How do I know this? Well, because to me and my kids my Dad is IRON FUCKING MAN! Yup.

I have NEVER lost a patient on my shift…NEVER. EVER. In the last 25 years of being in the medical field (of some kind) I have never ever lost a patient on my shift and no way in hell am I going to start now, not with my own Dad. FUCK. THAT!

So, until I can shake the fight into the man, I will be doing the fighting for the both of us. I am not going to sit here and lie to you, I am scared shit-less, but I have been in worse spots in my life and I have walked away like WONDER FUCKING WOMAN and this time I will be bringing IRON MAN out with me! 😉


About steelworkerswife

I'm a mom, a wife (of an Indiana Steel Worker), and oh so much more. I am CEO and Chief Bottle Washer for my family, simply put means I do it all...but there is "help" from the Hubby and the Teen and once in a while from the manchild. I tend to blog/babble about whatever comes to my mind, it could be funny, emotionally distressed, a bit of both or just loopy and twisted as my brain forms it. LOL I truly have no rhyme or reason to how things are processed from my brain to my blog, I just kind of wing it most days. There are several things that you will NOT be able to doubt once you read my blog: 1) I love my crazy family 2) I may take a whole blog to get my point across, but at least I get there. lol 3) I will gush about my children in one instance and then in the other, I will sound like a complete whiner. LOL 4) NO MATTER how much I bitch and moan about my hubby, he is MINE and I would NEVER EVER change that or him. So, now that you know a bit more about me....scared yet? ;) Seriously, come on in, grab a drink of your choice, settle back and get to know me some more and let yourself become surrounded by "MINION LOVE". ;) *Minions are what we lovingly call our followers...ok, that kinda sounds all cultish and stuff, but it is a term used with Love and Respect. :) *

Posted on June 21, 2015, in Words from the Wife and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Sorry to hear this. I have faith he will get through all of this. He is just being stubborn and quite frankly now is not the time but I’m sure you will let him know this soon enough 😀 my uncle just went in for a routine check up and found out he also has prostate cancer. They are moving his next week I believe. Cancer sucks and I have lost many people to all kinds of cancer including my step dad. Stay strong!

    • Thank you Jessica! I am sorry it has taken me so long to respond to your post…but, as you know life gets hectic. Yeah, Dad knows how he is being without me telling him. 🙂 Plus, he has my mom to tell him. LOL BUT, I must commend her, she has been VERY mindful of what she says and HOW she says things to him through this as his emotions have been running very high. Good luck to your Uncle on his surgery and recovery. P.S. They did get all my dad’s cancer out in the surgery! 🙂

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