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This is such a wonderful tutorial! I will be making 3…to start. 😁😀
Source: DIY Weighted Blanket
Hello, again! I know that I have been away for quite some time now, but it could not be helped. Life here in SWW land needed to be dealt with, so I had to take a break from here for a bit. If you follow along on my Facebook page, you know what has been going on. If not, let me just say that life has been pretty interesting (for lack of a better word) the last year and a half…or more. LOL
Mr. Steel had a stroke in December of 2015, I think I blogged about that. The man child has had several changes in his life, he broke off the engagement with one, started dating a nice girl who later into their relationship decided that she wanted to be a man and was taking steps to make that happen, he decided he couldn’t quite handle that as he had thought he could and they ended their relationship. Several other things went down after that, but not really worth mentioning, and he is currently in a great relationship with a very nice young lady who seems to have her life together….as much as someone their age can. The Teen is a senior in high school now, turning 18 later this year, and hopefully graduating sometime within the next year. (That’s a whole different blog.)
My own health took some twists and turns, which had me stepping back and focusing more on life outside of this blog. I have been trying to keep up with my Facebook page and such, which sometimes is easier said than done, but y’all know that life can have many PLOT TWISTS. Right?
I just finished responding to several comments from older blogs and I felt so bad for being so late with those replies. I hate knowing that I left people hanging like that. UGH. I hope y’all understand and can forgive me.
Right now it is late and this post is mainly to touch base with you and let you know that I am still around…kicking, yelling, cursing even. I have not forgotten you. I have some blog topics that I cannot wait to write about and share with you all! So, please, keep checking back as there is more to come and SOON!
With love and blessings,
LIFESTYLE, CROCHET & CRAFT BLOG
Oh yes I am! It really doesn’t take much to sweep me away into a really good daydream these days, it never really has if we are being honest. Usually it just takes a good book, that is usually how it has always been for me. I can be transported to the pages and time of just about any book I’m reading, I don’t become one of the characters that is in the book, no, I become another character for the book; or I become an onlooker who is just there to observe and not to participate at all.
When I write that is how I like it to be, I like to envision myself as a “ghost” in the story, just hanging around watching and listening as my characters interact with one another. Doing this helps me write conversations and actions that I feel would be more believable to the reader. I get sucked into the story line pretty quickly and well, I love that! I could hang out all day in a good story line and well, I have.
Another way that I daydream is when I meditate. Some people tell me that by doing this I’m meditating wrong, but well, it works for me so they can just shut it. (lol) I imagine myself somewhere quite and peaceful, usually a meadow or however I envision Scotland to look in the summer time and this is where I will imagine myself having a conversation with a loved one or a cherished friend who has already passed on. I can pour my heart and soul out to them and release all my troubles, thus unloading my mind at the same time. When I’m done and I “wake up” I usually feel more relaxed and even more stress free, it is amazing how a really good talk can cleanse the soul.
So, yes, I am a Daydream Believer…are you?
This woman is one hell of a woman! She is searching for answers and needs all our help in doing so. I pray someone out there reads it and can lead her in the right direction and SOON! So, please, my Minions, read her blog and if you know of anyone that might be able to help her please contact her directly and let her know. Thank you all so very much! HUGGELS!
When I was 2 and a half years old my sister, decided to take me on her bike when she went riding. So she puts me on the handle bars and expected nothing would happen. She was wrong. I slipped forward and somehow my foot was caught in the spokes and was broken, badly. Not long after, I fell in the kitchen and broke both legs and stayed in a body cast for 3 months. During this time my mom and dad became aware that my spleen was 3 times the size it was supposed to be and took me to the doctor.
And so the journey into medical hell began. After a lot of testing, biopsies and pain, it was determined that I have a very rare illness one that caused holes in my bones, fluid to build up around my heart and lungs, and caused my heart and…
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So, today after the Teen and I went to pick up the furnace part we stopped by to see my parents. My mom is getting over her 7th bout of shingles (7th in her lifetime) and we wanted to check in on her…plus we scored some Pizza. Anyway, I digress…while there we were talking about some of the posts we have been seeing from family and friends concerning the outcome and riots in Ferguson, MO and how we were amazed at how uninformed these people seemed to be. I know that everyone has their opinions and they are entitled to them, but come on…at least be informed properly before you start spouting off at the mouth/Facebook. (sigh)
This conversation lead to my mom asking me why I didn’t comment with something…a link of news, a view/comment of my own. Well, I told her that I find it useless to try and have a battle of the mind with an unarmed person. My dad laughed in agreement, but my mom said something to the line of: “well, it wouldn’t have to be a battle of the minds if you are just giving them the right information.” Ummmm…yes it would. It would turn into one and even though I treasure my brain and how it works, I know that it would not end at just one comment. I know my family and my friends well enough to know that they would feel compelled to comment back…in hopes of having the last word. (Do they NOT know me at all?!)
Way back when (in high school) I was on the Congress/Debate team…I was the ONLY girl on said team too; so I have learned to gather the facts before I speak on issues, especially issues that I am not so familiar with…like the Law. It also taught me how to argue and argue well. My parents will admit that I can argue a point so well that even if it’s wrong, I can have you admitting I was right. Yeah, it is a gift. LOL
But, since I have grown up I have learned how to differentiate my opinion from actual fact; Facebook has since taught me that not everyone can do that. So, instead of commenting and arguing a point with these people, I tend to just lay back and shake my head in wonderment.
We have one particular family member that relies totally on FoxNews as her information network and well, I personally will NEVER call FoxNews, News. (This is just my opinion…as said before everyone is entitled to their own.) So, I am constantly seeing posts that are either false, one sided or both from this person and well, I have removed them from my feed. My dad gets me and my mom does…to a point. LOL She usually ends up agreeing with me and my dad, on her own I will add. LOL
This blog is not done for any specific reason except for me to purge my mind today. LOL So, if you got to this point…THANK YOU! 🙂
Lately I have been dealing with some health issues and they have pretty much been kicking my butt all over the place and keeping me in bed more times than not. Well, all this feeling like crap has left my mind feeling like crap too. I have been feeling the guilt…big time!
I have not been able to give the Teen the total attention that I feel she needs and I have not been able to give my household the attention I think it needs either…and then there is Mr. Steel, who lovingly comes home from work and then instead of just sitting down and chilling out for a bit, he is cleaning the kitchen, making dinner (or helping me finish it), cleaning the bathroom and he then entertains the Teen for a bit. Yup, this all makes me feel like a failure at being a mom and a wife.
It is so hard to explain all this to Mr. Steel, not that he won’t listen, he will and does, but he tells me it is OK, that things will be back on track once I am back on track. Yup, he is so very supportive and that is what makes the guilt rise up inside of me even more. HOW does that make sense?!
So, this last week I have been pushing myself to get stuff done on the home front. I pushed my way through dress hunting, shoe hunting, grocery shopping (before Mr. Steel got home), errand running before Mr. Steel got home, house work, laundry, and making sure dinner was made and the kitchen clean before bed. I have taken more pain medication in the last several days than I have in a long time, but I am getting things done. That is what matters, right? Well, no. I got THE lecture today from Mr. Steel.
This morning, when I was up at dark thirty in the morning with him, he called me on my B.S. (as he called it.) He let me know that he noticed what I have been doing and the reason he hasn’t called me on it sooner is because he knows why I am doing it and he figured he would let me go until he saw a need to stop me. Apparently that need came last night, while I was sleeping. I woke up around 3 am with the most horrible muscle spasm in my lower back and legs…THE WORST EVER! I did not wake him up on purpose, he is just a light sleeper. He helped me through it, got my muscle relaxers and held me til I fell asleep again. Yeah, that was his tipping point.
He reminded me that we are a TEAM, when one is down the other picks up the slack til the sick one can get back into the game. He also reminded me of how I took care of everything when he has had his surgeries and then again when he had his heart attack. When I exclaimed that it was MY JOB to take care of him and our household, he gently said that it was now his turn to keep it all together while I healed/rested. Yeah, there are days that the man actually makes a good case and makes sense. LOL
Does it stop the guilt? No. That is just how I am hardwired. But, it did make me realize that I have a wonderful hubby (as if I needed reminding. lol). It also got me thinking that this is not just a “mom/Wife” thing…it is a human thing, especially if you are the stay at home parent/partner. We tend to take on the world and put it soundly on our shoulders, thinking that since we are at home that we should handle it ALL and not whine or bitch about it…JUST DO IT! We tend to forget that just because we are at home all day it doesn’t meant that we have to be totally consumed with life inside the home. We are allowed to have a break, physically and or mentally now and again. Just because we don’t get up, put on “real” clothes and punch a time clock, it doesn’t’;t mean we don’t work. EVERYONE deserves a day or two off here and there, even us who work inside the home…especially those of us who work inside the home 24/7!
OK, my ramble and rant is over…for now. lol I hope it made some form of sense to you all. 🙂
So, after the Teen and I stopped to try a cronut at Dunkin this morning we headed out to the next city to have coffee with the man child, his fiancé and my mama. Well, about half way there my tummy starts to do its bubbly thing. You know what I am talking about. The “bubbly” thing is its way of saying, “You really fucked up by having that sugary goodness of a cronut and now you will PAY!” Yeah, THAT bubbly thing.
So, I figured we are not that far from Starbucks (where we were meeting up) and I could hold it all in and deal with the pain til then….NOPE! OMG! I was about doubled over in pain when…guess what? We got stopped by a damn train! THEN, I was going to take the short cut, but a damn semi was in my way and I couldn’t make the turn. This is when I start drilling the Teen….”Where is the closest bathroom?”
Teen: Are we talking bathroom or restroom?
Me: Where is the closest place that I can sit my arse down and relieve my belly?
Teen: Ummmm….we could go to man child’s apartment….or can’t you climb the stairs right now?
Me: EVIL GLARE
Teen: OK then…(You can totally tell she is thinking very hard on finding a place my belly can explode)
Me: OMG…what store on the way is open at 9am and has a bathroom? A CLEAN bathroom?
Teen: Well, obviously that means the gas station is out of the question…or are you THAT desperate yet?
*We drive into the town and I have an AHA moment*
Me: HOBBY LOBBY! They open stupid early and their bathroom is always clean!
Teen: Plus, this early…you will probably be the first one to defile it. *smirks*
Teen: That’s what I am here for…for the rest of your life. *Evil laugh*
So…we head to Hobby Lobby. Parking spot right up front, they knew I was coming of course. We walk in, well, I am kinda power walking at this point with the Teen as my GPS.
Teen: Back left corner mom.
Teen: *grabs my hand* Come on mom, you will make it.
Me: Looking at her to make sure she is not being sarcastic….and she was being quite serious.
We make it to the bathroom and yes, we were the very first ones in that morning. LOL I will spare you all the icky details, but life with Lupus, IBS and other issues help me lead a very adventurous life style. LOL
So, yeah, that was my morning…and all that BEFORE coffee! So, even though the cronut tasted EVILICIOUS, it is something that won’t be bought again…unless I am eating it at home. LMAO
I have been working through some feelings the last couple of days and well, it isn’t an easy thing for me. The other day, when Hubby and I were out for a ride, he told me about a story in a local paper (the next county over) about a 27 DAY old baby who was severely (understatement of the century!) beaten and abused by his parents. I will not go into all the gory details of the abuse, but I will say that it is THE worst case of abuse I have ever heard of in my life. Before Mr. Steel told me the story he warned me that it was not a feel good story and to brace myself; I really didn’t think it was going to be as bad as it was. It made me sick, it cut deep into my soul, it tore my heart into pieces and my arms ached to hold this little guy in my arms and dare anyone to even look at him wrong!
This also brought up a lot of feelings and thoughts from both Mr. Steel and myself. We had tried for years to have a child together, but we were never blessed to meet them. Right after we were married, I mean like 2 weeks after, I went in for a partial hysterectomy due to health reasons and there went my chance to ever have a child with the man I love. Yes, I have 2 wonderful children of my own and I thank God for them every day, but I am not going to lie to you…having a child with my husband was something we both wanted, badly. We talked about being foster parents and adopting, but my health started taking a downward turn and we shoved that all to the side.
I have a hard time understanding why people abuse ANYONE, but a child? That is the lowest of the low, right up there with elder abuse. To abuse someone who cannot defend themselves, speak for themselves is just beyond my comprehension. I was in a very abusive relationship with my first husband and yes, I stayed with him through my pregnancy and yes, even though he beat me, I stayed. It took me a month after my son was born 2 months premature and sick to leave him and when I did, I never looked back again. I would NEVER put my child in harms way. I would NEVER sit back and let someone abuse my child. I would give MY life for my children, that is what a parent does…what a REAL parent does.
Parenting is not a right, it is a privilege and should be treated as such. You don’t “deserve” to be a parent just because you want a child. Too many people, usually young people, look at parenting as a game, as something that is disposable. NO child is EVER disposable! If you have a child and you no longer want that child, for whatever reasons, there are so many ways to give him/her up that are safe and secure. You can drop him/her off at a fire station, no questions asked. You can leave him/her at the hospital. Hell, you can place him/her on someone’s door step, ring the bell and run. Any of these methods will ensure that the child is safe.
We, as parents, have all gone through the frustration of a crying baby non-stop, some of us may have even had thoughts of just walking away from it all, and a few of us may have even had the thought of handing the baby over to someone else. This is ok, and normal of a new or even not so new parent. BUT, to lay your hands on your child to where you leave marks on him/her that will last a life time or to take a child’s life away before they have even had a chance to live it, that is NOT a parent. That is a MONSTER!
Yes, there are too many times where the system fails a child, but in these cases the children were failed long before by their parent(s). My heart aches for the unwanted children, for the abused children and is torn to shreds for the children who never stood a chance.
So, some of you “old timers” may remember when my brother-in-law got really sick earlier this year and we started realizing just how sick he really was. Well, there was a mistake made with one of his meds…but, let me say this before people start screaming for a Lynching of the Doctor…Bro had not been to a Dr. for about 20 odd years and there was no baseline for him and is condition (Congestive Heart Failure…just to name one).
So, the Dr. dosed him for what he thought was correct for his condition, height and weight. Well, a couple of days into the med, I noticed something was not right with bro and I alerted the Nurses and the Doctor myself. (I mean, I know him better than they do, right?) Thankfully they all listened to me, discontinued ALL his meds, ran some tests and slowly started him back on the meds…one at a time, with a couple of days in between adding them back and they figured out it was one of his heart meds that was causing a problem. (It did cause a lasting problem, but it is now under control.) Well, the Dr. came up to see him and in front of me and Mr. Steel he announced that the medicine error was HIS fuck up. Yup, his exact words were, “I fucked up”. Right there I knew we had a good doctor for bro; not many Dr.’s will fess up to a mistake, there is always something easier and handier to blame, but this one…he made his error known and fixed it.
So, I digress, once bro was released the last time from the hospital I decided to talk to him about filing for disability. Mr. Steel and I took him to see his heart doc (the one who fucked up) and Mr. Steel and bro talked to him about going for disability. Well, the Dr. explained that bro was not able to work and would never be able to work due to his heart condition and other medical issues he has (none caused by med issue), and to go and file for it and if there was anything he could do, to let him know. So, I got right on that. I mean, I have been down this whole disability road and know that almost no one gets accepted the first time out, so I figured I would help bro get a good long jump on the process. 🙂
Well, that was a few months ago that we filed his disability claim and….wait for it…..wait for it….He got a letter Friday saying he was ACCEPTED for full disability! I know, right!? I told you that hell just froze over, cuz let’s be honest…NO ONE gets accepted on the first try unless you are weeks from death’s door.
I am so happy for bro, seriously, not only does this take pressure off of him…but it unloads a shit ton of pressure off of Mr. Steel and me. We no longer have to worry about him being able to survive on his own. He now will have an income that he can live on, as long as he sticks to the budget. See, we always figured that bro would one day (and in the near one day kinda way) would end up living with us. Now that he has a steady income for the rest of his life, there is no longer that “worry”. Don’t get me wrong, I love and adore my brother-in-law…he is like a true brother to me and I would do and have done whatever was needed for him…But, it was never really about how it would make us feel with him living with us…it was more about how it would effect HIM. Bro has always lived with their mother (except for the time he was in the Army) and in that house (since he was a pre-teen). When their mom died we all worried about how he would carry on, yes, he is a mama’s boy…but not in the bad way. 😉 My sister-in-law (their sister) and I would talk a lot about this when their mama was in the hospital, we all worried about how he would handle her death and then living on his own. We were scared. Seriously, sis and I would talk about him possibly turning into a “Norman Bates” kind of guy…minus the killings. We were so worried that we convinced 2 nephews to live with him for a while…like a couple of years. We knew he would not handle living totally alone right off the bat and he would need time to transition and process it all.
So, yes, we have been worrying about what would happen if he had to go some place (the house is in foreclosure) ASAP. How would he handle living her with us 3? The 2 dogs…well, 3 when you add in his?. Living an hour away from the one home he has only known and his sister? Yeah, we knew it would not be a smooth process at all. Our feelings were not about us, as many had thought/still think, it was about him and his feelings. He is a very proud man (aren’t they all?) and even the thought of having to depend on someone else, even family, we knew did not sit well with bro.
Well, now no one has to worry about him not having a place to go or an income to take him there. THANK GOD! Seriously, I said a prayer of thanks to God when bro called and told us about the letter. He even asked that I come over to read the letter, just to make sure he was understanding it correctly. (I think he was in shock/denial) I mean, NO ONE gets accepted the first time out…unless hell has frozen over…OR…you truly have God on your side. 🙂
Thanks for sticking around for this ramble, but I just had to share the great news with you all. 🙂 ❤